Should bowling count as exercise? I can't decide. As close as I can figure, I spend about 30 minutes on the lane throwing the ball. The rest of the time is spent socializing, of course. I'm moving around all the time, I rarely sit down the whole 2 to 2 1/2 hours I'm there, but I don't work up a sweat and those 30 minutes aren't all at once. It happens maybe 30 seconds at a time. I'm leaning towards no with this one.

I'm not happy with myself. After bowling last night Nathan wanted to stop at the store so he could get lunch stuff. I wanted to go home and go to bed, but he was persistent so we stopped. I should have just stayed in the car. I walked out with a bag of Ruffles and a small container of French onion dip, and when I got home I proceeded to eat a bunch of it. I say 'a bunch' because I really don't know how much I ate. I'm guessing probably half the bag of Ruffles, not a clue on the dip. Let's just say a lot.

When I went to bed my stomach let me know in no uncertain terms that it was not happy with my choice of a late night snack. It tossed and turned and my reflux was acting up. This morning it still wasn't entirely settled.

So now I'm in a funky mood and, if I'm being honest, a little disgusted with myself. I knew damn well I shouldn't be eating that crap, yet I did it anyway. And for what? To keep myself from being able to go to sleep because of my tummy's roller coaster ride? To wake up with heartburn as well as swollen hands and feet? Not to mention the shitty way I'm feeling? Those weren't my goals but that's what I accomplished. It also scares me that I will undo the hard work I've done so far.

I've been trying to figure out why I've been craving bad food lately. Hamburgers in particular. For the most part I've never been one of those people who craves certain foods. Once in a great while chocolate will sound good (and I am not a chocolate lover), and sometimes a giant steak sounds amazing, but overall I don't have cravings. And when I did, I ate whatever it was I 'needed' at the moment. Now that I'm trying to change my eating habits, I'm trying to figure out where the craving is coming from.

Maybe it's one of those 'you know you shouldn't eat it so now you really want it' things. Maybe my body is lacking something. How do you even figure out which it is?

One big problem I'm still having lately is not getting enough sleep. I'm not going to bed early enough, and when I do get in bed I usually read for awhile. I think 11:30 is the earliest I've gotten to bed and to sleep this week, and it's just not cutting it. I am not a morning person to begin with and lately dragging myself out of bed has become ridiculously difficult. You'd think I've climbed Mt. Everest by the time I stumble into the shower. Saying it's not a pretty sight is an understatement.

Now that I've vented and rambled about all my 'troubles' it's time to come up with some solutions.

~ Count bowling as exercise? No, for now I won't.
~ Dealing with cravings? First of all, do NOT go to the store when I'm hungry/tired/sad/upset. Keep lots of fruit around home so if I really want to eat something at least it will be good for me. Not that I crave the good stuff, but I'm hoping eventually I will.
~ Lack of sleep? Go to bed earlier. Duh. It's not rocket science!

I'll make my goal for next week to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00 to 10:30. I also need to work on a meal plan. Keep saying it, never do it. It's mainly dinner I have trouble with, and the weekends. There are so many things I want to improve on. I worry about taking on too much and getting overwhelmed, and then I worry about not doing enough. How do I find that line?